Memorial created 08-20-2008 by
Trevor Van Huizen
Diego J Van Huizen
May 12 2008 - May 13 2008
Dear Family and Friends:
As you all know, Zegee was 7 ½ months pregnant and everything was going fine. Well, yesterday on her way home from work she was involved in a serious car accident. As a result, Diego John Van Huizen was born C-section at 9:00 PM May 12th.
Zegee was headed east bound on Missouri around 13th st. at 4:00 pm when a truck failed to stop while she was waiting for someone to turn and slammed in to her making her lose control and hit an oncoming SUV head on. She was quickly rushed to St. Joe’s hospital where they had a team ready for surgery.
After several tests the doctor’s decided it was best for Diego to visit the world ready or not. and quickly moved to operate.
Zegee is recovering and will be in the hospital for several days, although exhausted and sore, she is doing very well and in ok spirits. Diego on the other hand, isn’t doing so well. He had bleeding in the brain and other places. They have preformed a blood transfusion already and may have to again. He is holding on but, at one point the head doctor came in to tell us he was very sick as she almost started to cry as she didn’t want to really tell us how bad it was.
I have faith he will be alright and know with God all things are possible. He will pull this small baby through, I just know he will.
As for me, I am a wreck. It’s 10 to 6 am and I haven’t slept, nor do I expect today.
Please pray for us as we walk a very bumpy path. If you feel the need, please only call. The hospital isn’t very accommodating for many visitors.
Trevor Van Huizen, Zegee and Diego
Dear Family and Friends:
This is in reply to my prior email about the condition of Zegee and Diego after the accident.
We have spent the last one and a half days in the hospital hoping for a miracle; we didn’t receive one. Last night was the hardest day of Zegee and my life as we sat in the hospital dazed and confused. Neither one of us had any sleep for about 36 hours and feel like we are in a nightmare that has lasted about a week. Diego’s doctors had told us he had had several strokes on both sides of the brain and wouldn’t ever function over a 6 month old level if he lived. Zegee and my heart sank to the floor as we listened in disbelief. We felt our world and everything in it was coming crashing down around us and we were so helpless to do anything.
We decided to have Diego baptized by the priest in the hospital in case of his death. The ceremony was very difficult, tears ran down every face in the room; nurses and doctors alike crying as it was their own; I could hardly see Diego through my aching and tear covered eyes. Later Zegee and I went down and took pictures holding him and telling him how much we love him.
Last night around 7:15 Diego died in my arms as I rocked him, sang to him and talked to him I couldn’t stop telling him how much I loved him and this was done in both Spanish and English, while I shook like a man standing in the cold without a jacket. Thank God I had a couple of friends around to support me while this happened.
I would like to have everyone over, however, at this time Zegee doesn’t want any visitors, not even family; she just wants to be alone and grieve in peace;, it’s not personal, we love you all. If you wish to do something as many have mentioned in the phone calls, please just send flowers to our house, that is something Zegee always loves.
Thank you again for your support and prayers.
Trevor and Zegee and Diego in spirit.
Dear Friends and Family,
First, we would like to thank everyone for their support over this week, which goes down in history as the worst week of our lives. Zegee and I have received so many flowers, cards, calls and love with endless support, your out pour of love has helped.. As so many of you have said to us “I don’t know what to say”, I can assure you just your caring was enough, few words can describe the emotions and anguish of the loss of a loved one, moreover, an infant. I have been told there isn’t anything worst that a parent losing a child. I don’t know if that’s true or not, however, both Zegee and I feel our insides have been removed and we are living in an empty shell. We have both learned so much about the friends and family: they love us dearly and want the best for us. Even know we knew this, it is so ever present in the wake of a disaster.
More and more of our friends and family have been using three little words, but for some reason, such large words; I love you. It seems in a time of crisis people have an easier time telling one another that they love each other. I know I tell Zegee I love her all the time, but, what about my other family, what about our friends. Telling friends I love you may be followed with the thought “that was weird”. I know I have been there. Have you ever wondered what makes it so uncomfortable to say I love you, or why we often think it, although, without words it is left to be assume?
My suggestion, say I love you and hug your friends and family today and often. Life is fragile, God hasn’t ever guaranteed our time on Earth nor do most of us know when it will end. My point isn’t dooms day but live each day like your time is limited. It is too easy to get forget this and be consumed with things around us. Gods biggest gift on Earth is one another, take advantage of that. I know that someone who is told they have terminal cancer with only a short time to live spends their time loving their loved ones. My point is it shouldn’t take a tragedy to smack you back to reality about how important people in your life are.
One other suggestion: live only for today. All we have is right now, not yesterday, not tomorrow it is important to realize this. If you are living in yesterday or tomorrow it makes it very hard to be connected to God. A group I am affiliated with has phrases I just love, “if you have one foot in yesterday, and one in tomorrow, you will be peeing on today” Or “yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery and today is reality”. Diego only lived for 22 hours; he only had one day.
Zegee and I would also like to thank all of you who were there for us. Much donated money or flowers; thank you so much. Many of you just called; thank you so much. We love you all, each and every one of you.
Trevor and Zegee
Dear friends and family,
Zegee and I would like to thank all of you from the bottoms of our heart for the generous contributions, flowers and cards. It helped with funeral expenses and other expenses accrued during the loss of our son Diego. The out pouring of love, prayer and financial support was and continues to be so important to both of us. We feel so blessed and loved by not only our community here in Phoenix, but your community in Michigan and it is helping us heal. I know healing will take a long time, although, I also know we will get through it by walking in faith, and by knowing God has other plans for us right now.
All we want to be is parents; to give a child or children a structured loving environment to grow, learn and to develop skills to help other people. We have faith God will give us another chance to get pregnant; please pray for us.
It's been three weeks now since the accident, and slowly all the family has left us; we now alone in our house. Challenged by emotions to regain some sort of normality, we seem to improve with every passing day. My parents left after the first week; Zegee's mother just left a couple of days ago after a three week stay. Even though it's feels great to have our house back, it is a scary time. It's almost like having fear of the Boogie Man in the closet as a kid, but now our Boogie Man is a combination of empty arms and still raw emotions. Our burst of crying remains very real and so does the feeling of our loss.
We have started grief counseling with someone from my church, and are going to attend a meeting of Compassionate friends (a program of parents who lost children working through it together) on Thursday. Friends continue to bring food and goodies over in hopes to ease the pain and telephone calls continue to come in.
I am starting to work a little again, although, Zegee has not since she works for the school system.
Zegee is also starting to move around a lot better after the accident. She still is in pain with broken ribs, has burning in her belly from the C-section and now has been complaining of sore back and sore neck, but she is healing up and that's what counts.
Thanks again for your love and support throughout our time of need.
Trevor and Zegee Van Huizen
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