Celebrating life stories...

Memories

 

This memorial is sponsored by:

Trevor Van Huizen

Memorial created 08-20-2008 by
Trevor Van Huizen
Diego J Van Huizen
May 12 2008 - May 13 2008

Zegee first pregnant

We had been trying to get pregnant for three years, month after month would end in tears with a negative pregnancy test, it just seemed to be protocol. 

One morning in November around five am the news came in. I was sound a sleep dreaming as usual when Zegee came into the bedroom and put a pair of baby shoes on my bed pillow.  I opened my eyes barely able to focus wondering what is going on. 

She quickly says with tears in her eyes "Good Morning Daddy".  As I started waking up we cried together in complete and utter joy.  It happened!  Thank God!  

Of course, I was unable to sleep with this news, the first thing I did was call my mother.  She of course answers "what are you calling so early for?"  "Mom, Zegee's pregnant!" I said, and tears of joy ran down my face as I listened to her response.  

Our day was here, our baby is alive!  I quickly got up, took a shower and was ready to go out and scream it to the world "I'm going to be a daddy!"   

 

 

 

 

Major ultrasound where we knew he was a boy

The ultrasounds we had were some of the joyous times of our lives.  Watching little Diego's heart beat and seeing his body of unformed matter was heart wrenching for both Zegee and I.  We were so grateful, God is good and he has granted us our baby, our baby boy. 

Zegee already knew his name, it was to be Diego after Diego Rivera the famous Mexican artist.  Altough I had reservations about Diego's name because of the reputation Mr. Rivera had.  So it would be, Mr. Diego John Van Huizen and so it was. 

 

 

Just looking at Zegee was so amazing.  She had arrived; motherhood was just around the corner and she was the happiest women in the world.  Her actions and expressions showed it all.  Everything had changed, the way she walked, talked and conducted her daily affairs.  Nothing mattered to her anymore except that little Diego who was growing like a weed inside of her.  Just look at this picture... she is so happy and filled with life like I had never seen her.  She glowed, truely glowed it was all you could say.

 

Pregnant 26 weeks

Zegee at twenty six weeks.  God Bless her.  What a sexy Momma!

 

Prenatal Peaks 3D Ultrasound

Prenatal Peeks, it was an experience like no other.  We had been waiting since January to experience this and finally our day was here.   We sat in amazement at our beautiful baby boy, we just felt this joy and love like neither one of us had ever felt.  While we were there looking at Diego, baby songs played in the background with candles lit all over the room.  It took a half an hour for the whole process but seemed like forever.  We are parents; son, we love you.

 

RIP Element June 2005-May 2008

May 12th 2008 Zegee and I had switched cars for the day so I could get new tires on her car.  It was a very average day, everything seemed to be just as normal as the day which had just passed.  I had been emailing people that day to get their information so Zegee could invite them to the baby shower.  Nothing out of the ordinary.

As the end of the work day was approaching, Zegee called me while leaving work to ask what was for dinner.  Spaghetti I told her, I also said ,I will talk to you when you get home. 

I didn't want to tie her up while she was driving, for some reason I had a bad feeling in my stomach and wasn't sure what it was.  I continued cooking dinner and preparing for my angel to walk through the door. 

Then the phone rang...it was Zegee and I just knew something was wrong.  

"Hello"...I replied with hesitation in my voice. 

"Trevor", Zegee screams loudly, "I've been in an accident... it hurts, it hurts so bad".

"Where are you?" I said with panic in my voice.

"13th st and Missouri, come quick". 

I shut off the stove and ran to the car.  I couldn't get there fast enough, I even beat the police and fire department, since the accident only happened five blocks from our house.  As I approached I saw our car and another crumpled in the middle of the road .  It was clear it wasn't a small accident and both cars were still in the kissing position.  Zegee was sitting on the side of the road clearly shaken up with people all around.  Shock was setting in and the sense started feeling like the chaos at the carnival with all the noises and flashing lights coming in all directions. 

They rushed Zegee away so fast, sirens roaring and lights flashing.   As I just stood there surrounded by people yet felt so alone.  I started to cry and just wanted to fall to the ground.  Was this really happening or was it a dream, I couldn't tell.  God help me now,..PLEASE, I beg of you... make it go away...

 

 

Diego's Birthday

I drove to the hospital so fast after the accident, I was full of shock and feeling almost absent from my own body.  I called Zegee's sister on the way to the hospital, felt the need to inform them of what had happeed, but maybe I wanted someone to start grieving with me too.

When I arrived, I stumbled into the hospital dazed and confused.  Quickly a nurse directed me to the front of the hospital where I be directed to labor and delivery. For some reason all I could hear was blah, blah, blah and needed to be directed with my hand held.  A gentleman who worked for the hospital did just that.

I just knew I would be a Daddy by the nights end.  I felt so excited yet so scared, but I held on to faith that everything would be ok and Diego would be healthy. 

After making it up to where Zegee would be coming I was directed to sit in this room with many beds that were empty.  I wasn't sure what was going on or when I would get to see Zegee; time felt as if it stopped. 

All of a sudden  a nurse came in, "can I get you a soda?" she said.,  

"Sure but where is my wife and when can I see her?" I replied. 

"She will be coming up here soon, are you ok?" 

"I don't know am I?, I am very scared but I have faith God will protect us. " I said worried.

She started crying and said "God is good, even in times like these". 

All of a sudden I knew things were not right.  I just sat there wishing I would wake up and all would be normal again.  I just knew in my heart that everything in my world just changed and the out come was a crap shoot.  

Zegee's doctor finally arrived to fill me in on what was going on, and it wasn't a minute to late.  She told me first they were going to take Diego by C-section right away. I just remember, fear and joy filled every bone in my body when she said that. 

I'm going to be a father tonight!!! Oh my God.  Excitement filled every mussle of my body and the hair on my arms and legs started to stand on thier own.  Was I ready, were we ready, what was I going to do, Oh My God. Waves of excitement and fear continued running up and down my spine. 

Well, the doctors decided that Diego stablized and waited three hours before the C-section.  Of course, I was there, dressed in a surgery outfit about 3 sizes to small for me.  I held Zegee's hand while they cut her open and watched as if I was learning to do it myself.  When they broke the water all that came out was red, as red as if blood was the only thing there.  Diego popped out and my heart sank with amazement. 

Diego was rushed over to a couple of nurses who resucitated him.  They called me over to see my knight in naked armor.  I just kept screaming back to Zegee how beautiful he was.  All Zegee could say is why isn't he crying, why isn't he crying?  I don't know baby, I replied full of mixed emotions. 

The nurses took me with Diego down to NICU where Diego would be kept until he was old enough to go home with us.  I was so excited I could hardly stand it, yet I was so full of all emotions I don't think I could tell what I was.  He was alive and I knew God would do the rest. 

 

Diego in Peril

The rest of the night was filled with reports that weren't good as Diego was suffering from a bleeding brain and was having seizures.  It only got worst from there.  May God Help us, please God help us. 

The next morning Annabel, Zegee's sister was visiting us when a team of three doctors came in and told us Diego had suffered around seven strokes and was close to brain dead.  Zegee and Annabel just cried while the doctors talked, I was emotionless.  Unable to know what to do other than pray they were wrong. 

They went on to tell us we should strongly consider ending life support.  Which was another jab in the heart of all of us.

I began to die inside.  Please God let me have a heart attack right now and leave this place. 

Life had just changed again.

 

 

 

A Daddy who knows the outcome

Zegee still wasn't able to go down and see Diego, so I was down there often.  I don't know how to describe the feeling of looking at your son and know later that day he will  pass.  You can tell by looking at this picture my sadness was everywhere.

 

Why GOD WHY???

 

Zegee's first visit with Diego

There isn't anything like watching a Mother look at her baby for the first time.  There really isn't anything worst than a mother seeing thier baby for the first time knowing later that day he will have passed.

 

Baptism prayer Zegee holding his hand and me holding his foot

We quickly had Diego baptised by the priest on staff.  Our friend Sharon was also there both for support and as a prayer chaplin from Unity. 

All of the nurses and doctors came into the room to share in this ceremonial time.  There must have been 20 people crammed into this little room where Diego laid so helpless.  I can't describe the feeling of giving your son his last right.  It's the most uncompresable feeling in the world.  Everyone in the room just cried as if diego was their own. 

This just isn't right, please tell me it's a dream.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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